A Night At Susan’s
January 10th, 2022
It is easy to judge some other couple’s dysfunction when you are not them. But you can’t save anyone who doesn’t want to be saved.
I went to Susan and Derek’s house yesterday to help them setup their new Apple TV. I showed them how to screen share the content from their Apple devices to their projector using the new gadget and they seemed to be really impressed by its convenience. For a while everything was good. Then Derek and I started to prepare dinner while Susan continued to play the new game she just bought for the big screen and everyone seemed happy.
Midway through the meal Susan got up to wash the pan but burned herself because she forgot how hot the pan was. During the panic she left the pan on the counter and not on the magnetic stove. Derek and I was engrossed in a film on the new screen. He looked at her briefly before putting the pan back on the stove and continuing to watch the film. Susan was immediately upset, saying what kind of malicious person would ignore his burned girlfriend only to save the cheap kitchen counter from the terrible fate of being burned by a hot pan? Is she that worthless to him? Derek, not good at conflicts or comforting his girlfriend in a heated argument, replied that he did not hear her saying she got burned because he was watching the film. Susan got increasingly upset, saying that she already proclaimed out loud that she was burned three times. An exaggeration, of course, but I really didn’t know how to chime in, because I was confused as to why she would start cleaning when nobody had finished their meal yet. One thing led to another they started a fight. I needed to go home anyway. Susan wanted to drive me home in her car before aggressively slamming the dishwasher and storming off. It was not the first time I witnessed their fight. Derek would always froze and ignore her increasing high voice. She would get more and more upset until Derek responded with something explosive before the whole affair inevitably reach its climax with hurtful language, drama and vows to break up for good.
I told her we could drive around the street in the night for her to calm down, and she did. I have learned from the many dealings of consoling her that she does not want advice, for she is determined to stay in this relationship until she gets her permanent resident. So the best I could offer was to say it with her. Yes, he is horrible. Yes, he has an antisocial persona. And yes, his childhood is full of trauma and his mother is a controlling wench.
When they are good, they are really good. And when they are bad, they are really bad. I end the night by telling her that when I was cooking with him, he had a sparkle in his eyes that resembled a little boy that just wanted to be complimented for the nice things he had done for others during the moment when he said “Babe, the dinner is ready.” I told her that I never heard him say “Babe” to be her before. She paused for a moment with hints of tears in her eyes, saying that he would call her “Babe” all the time. I could see that she was no longer angry. We said our goodbyes. I thanked for for the meal and the night. She said we would see each other soon before driving off into the night.
I hope they will find their happiness. The world already has too much suffering. I believe that the happy life of one couple could change the world, at least one couple at a time.